Getting Over the Stigma

Fact: It Won’t Always be Sunshine and Daisies

Since I’ve been living at home, I’ve had mixed feelings—depressed because I feel stuck at home and I can’t support myself, but sometimes thankful to have been able to improve my relationship with my parents. Sob stories are a dime a dozen, but there is nothing worse than a bunch of bomerangers whining about their lot in life? No, the job market isn’t the same as it was in 1980, and no, wages haven’t necessarily increased to support the cost of living. Yes, the research is true, we are being taught to sacrifice our dreams to pay bills. Guess what? Get. Over. It.

Survival Tips: When life doesn’t even give you a lemon—go out, find one, and make lemonade.

A) Seize the Opportunity: Don’t feel sorry for yourself. Make job searching your full-time job. Even though I am attending school still while at home, I am soon to graduate and apply to jobs on a constant, daily if not weekly, basis. There are some great tips out there on how to get started.

B) Learn From Other Cultures: Here’s the deal- In most other cultures, and even more recently in Canada, you have multiple generations living under the same roof. This isn’t weird to them, and it also isn’t something to be ashamed of. Obviously they were doing something right. Check out this research article to see how they succeeded by emphasizing family values and care for one another. 

C) Don't Let the Stigma Exist: Many researchers and sociologists report that with the rise of boomerang kids, the stigma that previously existed with it is diminishing. Enter and exit your childhood home everyday with your head held high.

Lastly, Don't ever forget to laugh. 

Social Life 101: Part Two

Fact: Socializing Becomes a Chore

So your social life is hanging by a thread, don’t sit there and cry- Embrace it. No, it won’t be the same as your life at college, but that is just a part of growing up – we all have to stop going to homecoming parties some day. Studies at the Stanford Centre on Longevity have shown that many young adults do become less social as we get older.  But you just spent four years of perfecting the art of socialization, why stop now?

Survival Tip: Get Out There

A) Go Out: Don’t let those horror memories of the suburbs turn you into a social hermit. Trust me on this one – it will keep you sane and give your parents some quality time together that they probably want too. Here are some Girls and Guys night out ideas to get things going. According to the latest Census Reports in Canada, there are plenty of us out there. Use this to band together with friends and laugh over your hardships together. (Julianna is my venting outlet).

My partner in crime

B)  Plan, plan, plan and maybe plan some more: If you’re like me and was the regular host for having friends over at university, then moving home was an absolute nightmare. Best thing to do in this case is plan in advance and inform your parents about your intentions to have people over. Ensure that you have the space “booked” to do so and that your parents understand the proper adult-child guest edict guidelines.

DON’T THROW A RAGER- we’re not 16 anymore guys.But remember: don’t try to force the social life you had at school into the social life you have at home, because they are so different.

A Full 360°

September 2011: The first chapter of my new life at university. Freedom and independence were embraced, high school was behind me, and most importantly, I was now Parent-Free.

But lets fast-forward….

April 16, 2015: The day my home in Guelph was sold to someone else and no longer belonged to me. Where was my future home? It was my brand no-so-new childhood address. So after four years of leaps and bounds forward, I had just been sent right back to jail, with no jail-free card in sight.

Rest assured for me though, Pew Research Center claimed that I was not alone in my new found circumstances. A report showed that ¼ young adults in North America between the ages of 18-24 had returned to live with their parents after being independent. So if so many of us graduates were moving home, it clearly couldn’t be as bad as I thought it would be right?

Wrong.

I was forced back to the routine I felt I had outgrown in high school, in a room that I had outgrown even earlier. Nine months have passed since I entered the land of my haunting past, and I am here to tell you that it doesn’t always get easier. Through accepting the facts, I provide follow-up survival tips to get through something that can seem equivalent to hours of labour in childbirth. So lets kick things off with a simple fact and tip upon beginning your new adventure.

Fact #1: This is happening, there is no going back.

You’re moving back home, get over it. The first step to rehab is admitting that you have an addiction. This rule easily applies to moving home.

Survival Tip: Breathe 
Take a deep breath (and let it out). State out loud to yourself with confidence that you will be living in your childhood abode. This step may be repeated as many times as necessary until the statement no longer makes your stomach turn in knots. 

(And watch the most relevant movie..Post Grad!)