Social Life 101: Part One

Fact: Mother Bear is Always Watching

Four days into enjoying the homemade meals and the luxury of not paying rent, you realize, “I. Have. No. Social. Life.” You don’t have the freedom you had in college to go out as you please. Your parents always insist on answering the following questions:

Where you are going?

Who you are seeing?

How do I know them?
Fact is, this is incredibly embarrassing. You’re faced with the harsh judgment and approval from your parents that you thought you left behind in your high school days. Fret not though– there are some ways to deal with conversing about your social life with parents.

Survival Tips

A) Remain Calm and Social On: Studies show that most parents wholeheartedly love their children. Remember guys, your parents love you – there questions and concerns just go to prove how much they care (and maybe that they’re slightly psychotic). But be honest as you can with them and do your best. Let them know that they can trust you and when you don’t come home one night, or try to give them a heads up. 

B) There Not Always Right: Psychologist Suzanne Newman reported how parents can easily push us away from. Show them the mistakes they could be making that also push you away. These could be things like asking questions that are TOO personal or uncomfortable.

C) The Distraction Method: While you may be bombarded with questions, you can always resort back to the good old fashion “changing the subject strategy” we all should have mastered back in high school. 

For inspiration on how to learn to love your situation at home check out Jillian Knowles' story.

Now that you know how to cope with parental guidance questions, check in next week on how to keep being social with friends back at home.

Privacy is a Privilege

Fact #3: What’s yours is theres baby – The dissemination of personal space.

Away at school we all got used to being able to speak as LOUD as we wanted to. Cherish the memories of being able to graze casually in the fridge at 1 a.m. without having to worry about the sleepers upstairs. Unfortunately, this new situation affects your parents just as much as it affects you. Reality is, you share a lot more, you give up privacy, but so do they. Family psychologist Susan Newman's research suggests that adjusting expectations and attitudes can significantly improve the time spent together and even make privacy an easier issue to deal with. I have found with my experience that little things can make a huge difference.

Survival Tip: Create your own bubble  

A) The Bedroom 

I have a relatively small room, but this small room is all I have to work with to maintain my private life. When you move back home – make your room somewhere that you LOVE. This may involve making some changes, moving some things around or doing some DIY to make it yours again. Get inspired from these easy tips here. 

SIDE NOTE: Please don’t let your parents try and clean your room for you.

B) The Common Space

As much as I love my bedroom, I also don’t like to see the same four walls all day. I personally enjoy seeing the rest of the house during the day. It may be difficult, but try to feel comfortable watching TV and hanging out with your parents. Establish some simple rules (or in my case ‘signals’) that enable you to be left alone, while being outside of your room. My signal for privacy from my parents generally revolves around me being focused on my laptop, reading, or not being chatty (this is an obvious one for my parents because I am known to never be quiet). 

*You will find your own ways to tell your parents you’re not in the mood to be social – just be gentle, they’re only biologically programmed to love you.