Fact #3: What’s yours is
theres baby – The dissemination of personal space.
Away at school we all got
used to being able to speak as LOUD as we wanted to. Cherish
the memories of being able to graze casually in the fridge at 1 a.m. without
having to worry about the sleepers upstairs. Unfortunately, this new situation
affects your parents just as much as it affects you. Reality is, you share a lot
more, you give up privacy, but so do they. Family psychologist Susan Newman's
research suggests that adjusting expectations and attitudes can significantly improve the time
spent together and even make privacy an easier issue to deal with. I have found
with my experience that little things can make a huge difference.
A) The
Bedroom
I have a relatively small room, but
this small room is all I have to work with to maintain my private life. When
you move back home – make your room somewhere that you LOVE. This
may involve making some changes, moving some things around or doing some DIY to
make it yours again. Get inspired from these easy tips here.
SIDE NOTE: Please don’t let
your parents try and clean your room for you.
B) The Common Space
As much as I love my bedroom, I also
don’t like to see the same four walls all day. I personally enjoy seeing the
rest of the house during the day. It may be difficult, but try to feel
comfortable watching TV and hanging out with your parents. Establish some
simple rules (or in my case ‘signals’) that enable you to be left alone, while
being outside of your room. My signal for privacy from my parents generally
revolves around me being focused on my laptop, reading,
or not being chatty (this is an obvious one for my
parents because I am known to never be quiet). *You will find your own ways to tell your parents you’re not in the mood to be social – just be gentle, they’re only biologically programmed to love you.
Great tips, Lauren! Adjusting expectations is definitely the best way to go if you want to have a peaceful co-existence with your parents. I agree with the bedroom being a good place to create a "bubble", and if you happen to have a nice finished basement, that's another good place to set up shop.
ReplyDeleteThis post made me laugh! I can relate as well! When I moved home from school, it took me one night to learn that I have to watch Law & Order at a lower volume!
ReplyDeleteMaking my bedroom my own space is something I developed at home and carried forward living with room mates. Sometimes I take it so far, being too quiet that no one realizes I'm home, but I'm fine with that. It is my place to sequester from everything else. You're right in that having it all the time can be draining, but setting it up is so important when living with others.
ReplyDeleteLauren this hit too close to home, specifically the home I now share with my mom and two younger brothers. My bedroom has definitely become my sanctuary and I leave mainly to do laundry or to search for food. Looking forward to more tips and tricks!
ReplyDeleteMy bedroom is my castle. I need it to be as I prefer spending most of my time in it haha
ReplyDeleteMy parents leave for 6 months of the year and come back for the summer. It's so hard readjusting.
ReplyDelete